I just got really depressed all of a sudden... I was updating my live journal earlier and read through some past stuff.. started thinking about the last two years.. and then started thinking about my immediate future.. the next two months.. and how much its changed and will change and all this scary shit that's going to happen..I'm not exactly sure where my mind was.. but at one point I picked up my knife... it scared me..Where I am in life right now is freaking me out. I don't wanna leave. I don't want high school to be over, especially since it feels like I never really got to experience it like I'm supposed to. I don't want to find out...that i'm not going to be able to go where I wanted. I don't want to be a stupid little kid in the real world... Most of all I don't want to leave my best friend.